Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Walking Wounded

I'm somewhat at a loss to verbalize this thought, so bear with me. I've been in a funk lately, as you may know. Actually its more than a funk, more of a downward spiral, but that is not the issue I want to address. What my emotional upheaval has done is dull my awareness of people around me. Not that I was particularly sensitive before, but I am even less so right now.

This weekend it sort of crashed on me when I saw the hurt on some of my fellow Christians. I could tell something was wrong, but I didn't know what it was. And I didn't want to ask. One of the things about funks for me is that I tend to withdraw. I do it for several reasons. I know I am operating mentally and emotionally at an impaired level, and it keeps me from snapping at people. It also allows me to not put myself into situations where I will be tempted or overloaded, which can lead to things being misconstrued or blown out of proportion. But this withdrawal cuts me off from others, and dulls me to what is going on in their lives even as we pass each other in sort of a strange, pained dance.

I'm getting together with someone else this week who is in a similar place. I don't have any words of wisdom to offer. I don't have a plan, a book, or much beyond myself. I have faith in a God that I know is sovereign and loves me. But I don't hear him right now. So I cling to the faith that I have and remember the times I did hear him. That is what I have to offer.

Somehow I think this is how Christian community should work. The wounded help each other carry on as they journey through life together. Pray that we do not lose the sensitivity to each other that makes this possible. I know my self-preservation makes this difficult, but I also know what I am called to do. This is my denial of the flesh, to go and soldier on with someone hurting as much or more than me. All the while clinging to the hope that the God of the Universe will reveal himself in a way that we can comprehend. I went to the mountains in Colorado this summer. This appears to be the valley on the other side. Pray for us. But also rejoice with us that we are, in our own way, living out the command to bear each other's burdens. In an odd way, that kind of excites me.

7 comments:

Bob said...

Praying for you brother. Sharing is the way and very scriptural at that. I'm here for you as well.

Stacey said...

I have been praying for you since I noticed your "walking wounded" appearance. I responded yesterday to your blog, but that appears to have flown to never-never land.

Although you claim to lose what sensitivity you have for others, my point was that God is making you super-sensitive to the tragedies and travesties in our world.

I think sometimes he allows us to "really " see what our world is like, so we will jump out of our comfort zones and question the lack of solutions. Or perhaps we realize that we could be part of the solution.

I am speaking from personal experience. I know God is and has been preparing me for something. Perhaps thru Operation Christmas Child. I don't know what, but that's O.K. Right now my job is to let him prepare me. Whatever that means, whatever that entails, there will I be. Right now it means Waiting School, perhaps after that it means working at one of the packing sites for Operation Shoe Box in December.

I no longer am satisfied to live my comfortable life, and dream my comfortable dreams.

Your point is well made and taken. I hope as Christians we do help shoulder the burden through prayer and also actively; perhaps physically being with each other, or writing notes, calling each other. I hope that we all have a shoulder to lean on that is more substantial than a song verse.

Robin said...

Hi Roy,

I was reading one of your posts on Naznet and just followed your link here. Nice blog. My heart was really softened to missions and world mission broadcast by reading a fictional book by Randy Alcorn - "Safely Home." Check out this link to learn more about the book - http://epm.org/books.html

Stacy,

I too am feeling uncomfortable - wondering what the point is to the American Dream. What does God want?

Jenn said...

Im in the same place; never seen you like this. Smile the Lord of Creation loves you. He hears you; He always hears you. He is working. Unfortunately when I start a downward spiral, as you called it, I dont catch it until I hit the bottom. I'll pray that God lifts you up and quiets you wit His love.

Jenn

Stacey said...

Robin,

He wants US! I think he shows each of us in a way that can get our attention. If you sense a dissatisfaction in the American Dream/Way, actively seek His leadership. He will direct you when you actively respond and pursue the "nudging"!

Roy said...

Robin,

Last time I checked, God is not an American. His dreams MAY be different than the American Dream. Just a hunch.

Robin said...

Stacy and Roy,

I agree with both of you I was just posing a question that we all need to consider in our relationships with God. I like the way you both think.