The wonder of spring

I dislike spring. There, my secret is out. I truly dislike the up and down temperatures, the mud, the garbage that blew in over the winter months. I just despise spring. I realize I am a buzzkill for a lot of people, including my kids, when I go on a rant about spring.

My youngest daughter has been itching to get outside as soon as the snow melted. She got "Real Rollerblades" for the first time and cannot wait to learn how to use them. If the temp is above 50, she is out on the sidewalk, helmet and pads locked in place, practicing her stops, starts and turns. And she does it with a sense of wonder in her eyes that makes me sad for what I have lost.

Spring is a time of renewal. New leaves bud out, birds lay eggs, bunnies are born and the grass greens up again. But renewal is often messy. Fixing dead spots in the lawn requires removal of the dead debris, planting, watering and patience. A great deal of rain must fall to provide the proper growing conditions for many plants to bloom and put out new branches. That rain also brings mud and canceled plans. Spring is very unpredictable, and maybe that is what I dislike so much. I like change. But I like predictable change. And Spring is a reminder of how little I actually control and how Sovereign God really is.

Like my feeble attempts to control the effects of the weather in my little corner of the world, I cannot control God when he decides to change my world or the world around me. He works on a level I cannot understand and does things that I may never understand in this life. But I have to trust him, even when I cannot predict what he is going to do. And that is really hard.

Consider the words of God spoken to Job in chapter 39:
1 "Do you know the time the mountain ^{F432 R1079} goats give birth? Do you observe the calving of the deer? ^R1080 2 "Can you count the months they fulfill, Or do you know the time they give birth? 3 "They kneel down, they bring forth their young, They get rid of their labor pains. 4 "Their offspring become strong, they grow up in the open field; They leave and do not return to them. 5 "Who sent out the wild ^R1081 donkey free? And who loosed the bonds of the swift donkey, 6 To whom I gave the ^R1082 wilderness for a home And the salt land for his dwelling place? 7 "He scorns the tumult of the city, The shoutings of the driver he does not hear. 8 "He explores the mountains for his pasture And searches after every green thing. 9 "Will the wild ^R1083 ox consent to serve you, Or will he spend the night at your manger? 10 "Can you bind the wild ox in a furrow with ropes, ^F433 Or will he harrow the valleys after you? 11 "Will you trust him because his strength is great And leave your labor to him? 12 "Will you have faith in him that he will return your grain ^F434 And gather {it from} your threshing floor?



I don't undertand why God does things the way he does, but I do know that He is Sovereign and that He has our best interest at heart. I'll take a little mud now and then to know that he is driving the bus. And I'll keep trying to be content with being a passenger and stop trying to navigate.

BTW - Autumn is my favorite season. Cool nights, warm days, good fishing. Go out West in September and you will understand.

U2

I just finished watching U2's induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and it brought out some conflicting emotions. I don't want to admit that I am old enough that the music of my youth is being enshrined. But their rendition of "I still haven't found" with Springsteen stirred my soul.

The longing that is so transparent in that song is one that I have found in my own life. I still haven't found what I am looking for. That may be because I don't know with great certainty what I am looking for, but I know I don't have it. To some, it is my way of saying that what I have isn't good enough. I prefer to look at it as a by-product of my idealism and seeking the things of God in their fullest.

I am haunted by the scene from "As Good as is Gets" where Jack Nicholson is in the waiting room of his psychiatrist and asks the people waiting there "What if this is all there is? What if this is as good as it gets?" I live on the hope that it can be better. That we can grow closer to God. That we can build authentic communities built on trust and respect. Because if this is as good as it gets, then it is not good enough.

Share your thoughts with me on this please. I'm going to go play "The Joshua Tree" with the lights off for a while.