One of the favorite dishes in the church

I know this is an area where the Lord is working on me. For more info, go here. I may quibble with their very broad definition of gossip, but the intent is great. I've always viewed gossip as having an intent to damage another. Recounting events without judgment to me is not gossip, but there is a line close to there. I'd like to hear your definition of gossip.

Rumors

One of the things that struck me in the Oral Roberts University story is the comment by a student. Here is an excerpt from the article:

Cornell Cross II, a senior from Burlington, Vt., said he is looking to transfer to another school because the scandal has "severely devalued and hurt the reputation of my degree."

"We have asked and asked and asked to see the finances of our school and what they're doing with our money, and we've been told no," said, Cross who is majoring in government. "Now we know why. As a student, I'm not going to stand for it any longer."

Rumors and gossip have been an issue since language was invented. People will spread rumors because they feel a need to make themselves look better. They will also do it to undercut an opponent and sometimes, just because there is an absence of information. If things seem amiss, and requests for information are not fulfilled, the ground is fertile for rumors, speculation, innuendo and gossip.

It seems that some have been questioning the ORU leadership about the finances of the school for some time. That, coupled with a lawsuit filed by former professors, have led to a full bloom of stories about things that are going on there.

I cannot condone rumor-mongering, but I certainly can understand how it happens. I have been an advocate for transparency for churches, non-profits and any group that handles public money. Publishing board meeting summaries, posting quarterly financial statements and having open meetings are all ways to squash rumors. Nothing kills a rumor faster than exposure to the light of truth, and unfortunately too many organizations are loath to be transparent, especially involving their finances. If you have nothing to hide, then don't be secretive. If you are secretive, then you naturally invite suspicion.

The text below was written by David Crowe, a high school junior and the son of an Asbury alumnus. It was posted in the Asbury Coffee House. He offers some good thoughts about rumors, their spread and how to spike them.

People need to think when they start or progress a rumor. Think about the person it's about. Not only put yourself in there shoes but also in there position.

There have been many a rumor this year over many things involving many people, but something has come to me. Is there a true friend who would dare spread a rumor or tell something one has swore never to speak of? Why are there moments that we feel like we must talk to others about others? Does it really make us feel better?

School shootings have been a problem over the past years but there are other culprits than the ones who pulled the trigger, those who decided that they would rather risk the chance of having a fellow student be put down 6 feet under, by putting down another person.

Very few know everything about a person. It takes more than knowing them a few years to know them.

So if you hear a rumor spread about someone whether about something in their past or present don't feed the gossip. Starve it! If you don't, you might make a person relive a past they have tried to forget and move on. Don't spread the pain. Heal it, by being there for your friends and sometimes even for your enemies because I know we would all rather be put up than to be put down for good in a wooden box

David A. Crowe
Preacher's Kid
Junior, Eastern Wayne High School

The price of Gossip

1 Timothy 5 has some advice: 12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. 13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to. Read this story. I find it chastening because I can be prone to this and the Lord is working in my life to show me a better way. As you may know, I believe Gossip and Gluttony are the only two permissible sins in the church. By permissible, I mean things you rarely hear preached about from the pulpit, are allowed to persist in the open, and in many cases have leaders that condone if not participate in them. Imagine if church discipline were handled like this town handled their issues. I'm not advocating that, but it is something for us to think about. It harms the body of Christ and our witness. And it can destroy people's lives and reputations.

Taking our eyes off of the prize

Matthew 6:33 - But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Those words are some incredibly sound advice given by our Lord Jesus Christ during the sermon on the Mount. For nearly 2000 years they have been available to Christians as wise counsel about the practical application of living out our faith. Yet, they are often ignored as we let the smaller things in life crowd out the vision of the Kingdom of God in our thinking.

This has been on my mind for a while now as I progress through seminary. I've seen so many churches take their eyes off of the prize, and get locked up into bickering, schism, name-calling, church splits and all manner of ungodly behavior over seemingly minor things.

Here are a few of the examples I have seen churches split over:
1. Should the pastor's wife be compelled to wear a hat?
2. Removal of a beloved worship leader and replacement with someone who plays a different style of music.
3. Factional fighting for power/control within a congregation resulting in "churning" of pastors who cannot get past the initial 2-year call.
4. Removal of a pastor who violated church bylaws on divorce and remarriage.
5. Removal of a beloved member of the church staff.
6. Gossip, backbiting and strife used to wield power behind the scenes in a church.

Looking back at each of these, I ask the question: "Where is the kingdom of God in all of this?" Do any of these examples warrant blowing up a congregation and destroying the unity of a church? Is clothing, music or personnel worth ruining the reputation of the Bride of Christ?

Please hear me. I am NOT excusing ungodly leadership or behavior. If a church leader or pastor is engaging in ungodly behavior, they should be dealt with according to the scriptures and the leadership of the church. What I am talking about here are preferences that become "sacred cows" and the ensuing aftermath when someones sacred cow gets slaughtered.

Paul takes on the personnel issue in 1 Corinthians 3. He is writing to a church that is in discord because some say they are followers of Paul and others are followers of Apollos. That sounds familiar in the list I printed above. Neither Paul or Apollos are anything but followers of God. The church has taken their eyes off of God, and is focusing on the men. They are missing the message because they are so worried about the messenger! That is a tragic mistake that we see repeated over and over again.

Imagine if Paul and Apollos both fell over dead. Who would they follow then? The next apostle who showed up? They should be following God, and listening to the messengers who speak for him. But they became so wrapped up in the temporal things that they are missing the heavenly things.

My friends, I fear that is what many today are doing. We worry so much about the who (is delivering), and how (it is being delivered) of the message that we are missing the point of what (is being said) in the message. I know that I've been guilty in the past of letting the temporal overrule the eternal in my thinking, and I've asked God for forgiveness for that. I pray that each of you, during your prayer time, will ask God the question: "Is there something that I hold dear that is more important than building the Kingdom of God and its righteousness?" If there is, confess that to God and ask for his help in rearranging your priorities. The Kingdom of God awaits your help.

A shaming book and television show

This article speaks about one of the sins of the church that goes largely unpunished and most practitioners of it are unrepentant.

GOSSIP

It is no wonder that the secular media believes that Christians are fair game.  We provide them with both the target and the ammunition.  And we wonder why they take shots at us?

The cheapest mental health counsel you will ever receive

Stop watching the news. Especially the local news, or what passes for local news in most markets. One of the saddest things I have witnessed in my career is how the local news has become essentially irrelevant other than the weather forecast and occasional sports report. Local news has adopted the cable news motto of "infotainment at the lowest common denominator" and it is truly sickening to watch. Which is why I have stopped watching. Maybe I am a bit of a Luddite, but I get my news from the Detroit News, Wall Street Journal and Monroe Evening News, along with a few internet web sites.

Our local Fox affiliate sent a reporter to Hollywood to cover the American Idol finale, and gave that report as much time as the weather and sports reports. The news division is now shilling for the entertainment side, and it is becoming more obvious. The morning talking head shows talk about the TV shows from the night before, and lead that night's programming. Meanwhile, in our great state of Michigan, we have a $1billion state budget deficit, an imploding housing market, jobs leaving in droves, a feckless governor and a legislature that is unwilling to face the reality that trimming around the edges and accounting gimmicks aren't going to make this go away. We have the 2nd highest gas tax in the country, and the legislature is worried about oil companies gouging. According to an opinion piece in today's Detroit News, the state takes in $7.80 in tax off of a typical gas tank filling, while the oil company profits $2.20. Who is gouging? Yet the media mavens have our attention on the Kodak Theater.

What we see on the news is celebrity gossip, fluff, and the latest body count on the streets from murders, rapes and robberies. I have spoken with TV news producers who tell us this is what their research shows the viewers want. If that is true, then I am truly saddened. Do we really want more "investigative" reporters running around trying to justify their existence? They do a service occasionally with their reporting, but 5 nights per week with three networks leads to some pretty thin stories getting hyped.

I'm looking forward to a vacation. I can't hide my head in the sand. But I don't have to watch the pablum that is being served up under the moniker of 'News." I'm sure I can stay informed some other way without supporting that mess.

Some good advice about Gossip

No, this isn't a how-to article. It's more of a how-not-to article that cuts into motivation, especially among Christians.

It's great advice for those who feel the need to pass along every internet rumor they come across.

Friction

fric·tion n.

1. The rubbing of one object or surface against another.
2. Conflict, as between persons having dissimilar ideas or interests; clash.
3. Physics. A force that resists the relative motion or tendency to such motion of two bodies in contact.

Friction is one of those morally neutral things that drive us crazy. Friction is good, as in iron sharpening iron. It's bad when it's ball bearings screeching to a halt. We like it when it helps our tires grip the road surface, we don't when it creates static electricity and shocks us when we open the door.

Friction is everywhere. It is why the jet stream is faster than surface winds. It is why the center of a river channel generally flows faster than the area near the edges. Friction is what slows our snow sleds on the hills, unless we pull a Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation and use some super lubricant to reduce friction.

Friction also exists in our lives in less abstract ways. Friction occurs when you have competing ideas and visions. The two sides may not agree on a particular approach to a subject, but one will carry the day. How that process is handled is extraordinarly important.

If there is no lubricant between the two sides, things can heat up quickly. Just forget to add oil to your engine once to get an idea of what can happen. Heat builds up to a failure point. In relationships the failure point can be words spoken in anger, rash decisions, or a decision to go negative and backbite and gossip about the other person.

Properly managed friction can produce a relationship where the two sides pull together and work for the common good and purpose. In a machine, liberal application of a lubricant such as oil usually does the trick. With people, oil is much less effective.

The lubricants of choice would be love, grace and humilty. Putting those together can make a number of things go much more smoothly. Remembering that the other person is a child of God is always helpful. If the question comes down to purely personal choice, e.g there is no clear right and wrong, then humility needs to be applied. And grace covers a number of bumps along the way.

I say this knowing that I have not always done this. But God continues to work on me to mold me into something useful to him. A pastor once called me "hard-headed and tender-hearted." I took it as a compliment, but realized that the hard-headed needs to be tempered with humility. And God is really good at humbling people.

I know.