Stillness

Take, take till there's nothing, nothing to turn to.
Nothing when you get through.
Won't you break, scatter pieces of all I've been.
Bowing to all I've been running to.

Where are you?
Where are you?

Did you leave me unbreakable?
Leave me frozen?
I've never felt so cold.
I thought you were silent.
And I thought you left me for the wreckage and the waste.
On an empty beach of faith.
Was it true?

Cause I, I got a question, I got a question- Where are you?

Scream, deeper I wanna scream.
I want you to hear me, I want you to find me.
Cause I, I want to believe but all I pray is wrong and all
I claim is gone.

And I, I got a question, I got a question- Where are you?

lyrics from Silence by Jars of Clay

That's where I am today.  I'm reaching out for God to tell me
what he wants me to do with my life, my vocation, and the
seminary education I am acquiring.

But there seem to be more questions than answers.

Then along comes a chapel podcast on Be still and Know.
Whack! (sound of 2x4 hitting skull)

Read Psalm 46 with me

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. 7 The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah 8 Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth. 9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. 10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." 11 The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah (emphasis added)

Pray for me to be still. If you know me, you know how difficult that is. I want to know it all now, and it doesn't work that way. But I want to know because there is a restlessness in my soul that I cannot explain.