Speaking as a prophet

It's back to Pat again. Here are his official comments on the mass killing that he forecast onthe 700 Club earlier this month. Consider this excerpt from his comments:

...Well, the other thing I felt was that evil men, evil people, are going to try to do evil things to us and to others during the last part of this year. I don’t know whether it’ll be in the fall or September or later on, but it’ll be the second half, somehow, of 2007. There will be some very serious terrorist attacks. The evil people will come after this country. And there’s a possibility that—not a possibly, a definite certainty that chaos is going to rule, and the Lord said that the politicians will not have any solutions for it. There’s just going to be chaos. And, of course, we saw chaos in the Gulf after Katrina. The politicians had no answers.

TERRY MEEUWSEN: I think that that rang resonant in everyone’s heart, as they looked at it and realized that when something big happens . . . .

PAT ROBERTSON: We’re not ready.

TERRY MEEUWSEN: . . . . there’s no solution.

PAT ROBERTSON: It’s going to happen. And I’m not saying necessarily nuclear. The Lord didn’t say “nuclear,” but I do believe it’ll be something like that that’ll be a mass killing, possibly millions of people, major cities injured. I hope I’m wrong, and I hope people will pray and that won’t happen.

Let me get this straight. Pat "hopes he is wrong" and he "felt" these things? He claims that God told him this message. If we stick with orthodox Christian thinking, God is never wrong. So, when Pat's previous messages from God didn't happen, what was the problem?

Either God is wrong or Pat isn't listening to God very well.

If I were purporting to speak for God, I would make VERY sure that I had the details down. In the Old Testament, a prophet who was wrong was typically branded a false prophet and earned a one-way tripto the stoning pit outside of town. I'm not advocating that for Pat. But I would ask anyone with their own satellite and television network to think carefully about what they say GOD TOLD THEM especially when previous pronouncements have not come true. It diminishes God when people say they are speaking for Him and are not accurate. We already have a credibility problem with many people. This does not help.

Don't buy stocks in insurance companies

Another new year, another profoundly ignorant comment from Pat Robertson. It seems that Pat is our generation's Jeremiah, or prophet of doom. God has told Pat that we will experience a "mass killing" from terrorists late in this year. Why he told Pat and no one else, well that is between God and Pat.

You know my love for the inane things that come out of Pat's mouth. No doubt there will be a "clarification" in the next few days of what he meant, like he did after he called on the U.S. government to assassinate Hugo Chavez.

Will someone either take his microphone away or shoot down his satellite? Please?

Signs of the Apocalypse

It's official. The end is near. Don't buy any green bananas. The world is about to end.

How do I know this, you ask?

It's simple if you read the signs.

First, read this story. It seems that if you are short and commit felonies against children in Nebraska, you get probation. The lack of height is sufficient reason to avoid a jail sentence in that great state. I thought it was crazy when Debra Lafave got 3 years of house arrest for molesting a young boy. But she is pretty, and pretty people can't be sent to jail. Now short people can't go either. I guess only regular schlubs go to jail for molesting kids.

Second, as of May 26, 2006 the Detroit Tigers have the best record in baseball. I can't even begin to describe how ridiculous this sounds to a long-suffering fan. You had to be there for the last 13 years. You just had to be there.

Third, Pat Robertson has leg-pressed 2000 pounds, or so he says. You know my love for the goofy stuff that comes out of Pat's mouth. This one is a doozy. This ranks up with Chia-head Kim Jung-Il, who has made a series of similarly preposterous claims over the years. It seems that both of them have left reality and have entered another plane of existence. Let's pray that they stop making public pronouncements.

Otherwise, the world will come to an end. Very soon.

It only took 6 days

God created the world in 6 days. Pat Robertson took six days into the new year to utter another profoundly ignorant remark. This time God is smiting Ariel Sharon for "dividing God's land" by seeking peace with the Palestinians. Pat never ceases to amaze me with the inanities that come out of his mouth. But judging a man in critical condition for seeking peace and trying to restor a homeland to the Palestinians seems a bit un-Christian to me.

Will someone take his microphone away? Please?

Launching the Pat Patrol

Back in the 1990's sports fans around the country engaged in the "Wayne Watch" - a vigil to see when Detroit Lion's coach Wayne Fontes would be fired. It became an ESPN staple as the flamboyant Fontes rode the roller coaster that is Lions football.

I'm starting the Pat Patrol. Our purpose is to catalog the seemingly endless series of inane remarks that flow from the mouth of Pat Robertson. The secular media loves Pat, because he is a great source of inflammatory remarks and material for late-night comedians.

His latest pronouncement is a doozy. He is telling the people of Dover, PA not to call on God if a calamity comes their way, because they rejected school board members who favored the introduction of intelligent design. What God is he talking about?

Even in the Old Testament Prophets where Israel was getting pummeled for their idolatry and neglect of God's laws, God made it clear that he wanted them back. Sure there were consequences, but there was always some hope of redemption after repentance. Pat didn't seem to leave much room for repentance and redemption in his comments.

Intelligent design is a watered-down Deistic theory that nature is too intricate to be left to chance. The Designer is as vague as the Higher Power in AA meetings. It's a start, but it is only a small step. Why on earth would a Christian call down fire and brimstone for a half-measure at best? If we are going to toast some people, let's at least make it a real hill to die on. Not a molehill as this one is.

I reiterate my call to take away Pat's microphone before he speaks again.

Foot in mouth disease

Day 2 of the Pat Robertson digesting his foot saga is upon us.

Now, the leader of the Christian Coalition (that name makes me wince because of his propensity to step in a pile) says he was misquoted yesterday about advocating the assassination of Hugo Chavez, the democratically elected president of Venezuela.

Robertson claims he meant kidnap or something other than kill Mr. Chavez. Hmmm. Here is the quote and I'll let you decide:

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we are trying to assassinate him, we should go ahead and do it," Robertson said Monday. "It's a whole lot easier than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop."

Gee, I can't imagine why anyone would think Robertson had it in for Chavez after that statement. Clearly The Associated Press made the whole story up out of whole cloth.

Someone take his microphone away before he brings more embarrassment on himself and further damages the cause of Christ.

Stop him before he talks again

Will someone please take Pat Robertson's microphone away? What on earth was going through his head when he advocated the U.S. Government assassinating the leader of Venezuela? Click here for the story if you missed it.

How is it a good idea for a Christian minister to advocate the cold-blooded murder of another individual? It's one thing to kill someone in combat, e.g. Saddam Hussein's sons Uday and Qusay. There at least they chose to fight and die as a result of their actions. But to advocate murder is beyond the pale.

We need to denounce this kind of idiocy in the strongest possible terms. It is not Biblical and it does nothing to advance the Kingdom of God.

Pat, please retire. Now!