Launching the Pat Patrol

Back in the 1990's sports fans around the country engaged in the "Wayne Watch" - a vigil to see when Detroit Lion's coach Wayne Fontes would be fired. It became an ESPN staple as the flamboyant Fontes rode the roller coaster that is Lions football.

I'm starting the Pat Patrol. Our purpose is to catalog the seemingly endless series of inane remarks that flow from the mouth of Pat Robertson. The secular media loves Pat, because he is a great source of inflammatory remarks and material for late-night comedians.

His latest pronouncement is a doozy. He is telling the people of Dover, PA not to call on God if a calamity comes their way, because they rejected school board members who favored the introduction of intelligent design. What God is he talking about?

Even in the Old Testament Prophets where Israel was getting pummeled for their idolatry and neglect of God's laws, God made it clear that he wanted them back. Sure there were consequences, but there was always some hope of redemption after repentance. Pat didn't seem to leave much room for repentance and redemption in his comments.

Intelligent design is a watered-down Deistic theory that nature is too intricate to be left to chance. The Designer is as vague as the Higher Power in AA meetings. It's a start, but it is only a small step. Why on earth would a Christian call down fire and brimstone for a half-measure at best? If we are going to toast some people, let's at least make it a real hill to die on. Not a molehill as this one is.

I reiterate my call to take away Pat's microphone before he speaks again.

Dig a well

I love this modern parable about well diggers and fence builders. It harkens me back to my days in the South Dakota Department of Agriculture when we were helping protect rangeland by promoting cross fencing and water system improvements. It rapidly became evident that 1) Cows aren't stupid; and 2) if you want the cows to move away from the streambanks, you have to provide alternative water sources.

The cows, in pure self-preservation instinct, stay close to the water supply that they know. They will destroy all of the grass around that area if water in another location is not provided. And even after the water is available, the cattle have to be led to it. And putting up cross-fences with gates is a good way of getting them to go to the new pastures.

There is a ministry lesson there. First, we need lots of water sources to steer people toward. And not all of them have to be inside the church walls. Second, we have to lead and prod when necessary. Cows get comfortable with the known, and tend to stick with what they know works. Churches are like that too. Sometimes it takes a leader to move them to new pastures and new sources of sustenance. The trick is finding a leader willing to lead and matching him/her with a congregation willing to move.

The churches who don't move end up with weeds along the banks and little good food and muddy water. And they wonder why they don't thrive.

Peace,

Roy